Use common sense

Because common sense is genuinely uncommon and comes across as a breath of fresh air when someone uses it. Because who are we to argue with Samuel Taylor Coleridge? Now you'll wonder who Coleridge is. In these times of thrillers and romcoms on OTTs, I suppose reading classic poetry would be an obsolete pastime. Yet, …

Learn to chew with their mouths closed

Because it is rude not to do so. Because I don't want to guess your favourite food is paneer from the mangled mess between your jaws. Because it took us millions of years to stop being apes and you don't really want to start the journey backwards

Follow instructions

Because instructions tell you how to do things on your own. Because if you follow them you’ll get it right. Because if you knew what to do then they wouldn’t need to give you instructions

Know that soap can’t multitask

Because soap, not the ones you see on telly or some OTT platform, can't really do the work of the shampoo and the beard wash and the face wash as well, you know

Be behind bars

Because bars are where real conversations happen. Because bars are where great ideas are born. Because bars are where you get great music. Because bars are happy places

Learn a language

Because a language is a gateway into another world. Because a language makes you richer. Because a language helps you communicate and understand. Because even Joey knows that knowing another tongue is cool

Watch romcoms

Because they’re a laugh. Because they are feel good stories that will see you go out of the theatre feeling nice. Because if you want your lady to sit through an action movie, it’s only fair that you sit through a romcom Goofy, fun and thoroughly enjoyable. Like a hundred other romcoms I think there’s …

Learn to laugh at life

Because it’s only the loonies that will survive this lunacy that life has turned into. Because there is little else you can do. Because laughing is the biggest sign of positivity that you can possibly project Laughter. The best medicine Live a little. Laugh a little. These are maxims of an older time really. Over …

Lift the toilet seats and wash their hands

Because when you don’t it makes you unhygienic and selfishly lazy as a human being. That, by all accounts is uncouth and uncool Lift the seat guys. If you've held on for this long, I'm sure you'll last another couple of seconds It’s lockdown life people and most of us are doing the unthinkable, cleaning …

Not get drunk

Because being drunk makes you look stupid. Because being drunk means you're going to run out of booze soon Managing your stock might be harder than you'd imagine Hey guys, remember that party where you were sloshed like crazy? Of course you don't. Now go and ask your friends or partner and chances are they'll …